Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Grief and moving on

Most of those who know me, know me to be carefree, loving, laughing, and trustful (most times to a fault) They look at me as whimsical and living life with no boundaries.  However, though my soul may not be of this earth, my body is, and with that the rampant emotions of sadness, despair, and at times even depression.  I sometimes open my heart and soul to large, love to much, and trust like a child, forgetting the cruelty that can be part of the human race.  With that comes the grief.  Followed by the tears and sorrow.  Washington Irving said it best when he wrote "There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love." 
I have shared thousands of tears over the last several months, tears of joy for the birth of my son Tristan (aka. Drogo), tears over the loss of friends and loved ones, tears as I became one completely with my soul mate and best friend, tears from the trust I gave unto others that was shattered with no explanation, tears for my best friend (at least whom I thought was my best friend) when my calls were left unanswered and not having her at my side as I said my vows of love and devotion to my soul mate and we two became one, tears over the relationship that ended, and tears of grief for the goodbyes that I never got to speak to loved ones no longer here.  Tears are power, they bring cleansing and renewal, they allow us to have an outward expression of emotions we can not put to words.  Tears are not a sign of weakness they are the signs of an inner strength and resolve to never give up!
While I have been away I have worked on my grief and healing.  I have a wonderful team around me surrounding me with love and support.  One of the assignments they gave me is to look up quotes on grief, finding the ones that stood out to me.  A lot of them gave me strength to continue through when I would have rathered curled up and allowed myself to slowly wither and die.  I figured since I am back I would share them with you.
 
“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” ―Anne Lamott 

 “Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them." ~ Leo Tolstoy
 "The reality is that we don't forget, move on, and have closure, but rather we honor, we remember, and incorporate our deceased children and siblings into our lives in a new way. In fact, keeping memories of your loved one alive in your mind and heart is an important part of your healing journey." ~ Harriet Schiff, author of The Bereaved Parent
She was no longer wresting with the grief, but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts. - George Eliot
Those are just a few of the many I found that gave me strength to endure.  I hope the have inspired you some also.  So I am off much love and happiness to all of you and remember to sprinkle some fairy dust on your travels!!!!
I leave you with a song it is one that brings a smile to my face whenever I hear it hope it does to you also  

A great big thank you

to my followers thank you for understanding my need to have some time away.  I am back and ready to get blogging again.  I can not wait to share the wonderful things going on and some wonderful stories.  First I have to say we are expecting twin girls anytime now via the wonderful gift of surrogacy.  We have names them Daenerys Myrcella and Catelyn Margaery.  We chose the names out of love the The Song of Fire and Ice stories of George R.R. Martin and made famous in the HBO series Game of Thrones.  Well off for now spread some sunshine where ever you may travel!!!!

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Time away

Sorry to say I took some time off.  A lot was going on in my personal life.  New baby through adoption and plans for another via surrogacy.  I am getting back to writing and looking for input on what you all want to learn about.  Please message me and I will gladly share my knowledge. 

Sunday, January 26, 2014

The Divine Feminine

So many people have asked me, What exactly is the Divine Feminine?  Is it a pagan or a Christian thing?  The answer to me has always been so simple.  The divine feminine is the goddess is in all traditions, and has been since the beginning of time. These traditions are a mystical, magical, powerful, part of primal Mother Earth. They symbolize balance and healing, renewal and restoration.
Sophia is a very ancient form of the Goddess of Wisdom. She is known in many traditions by different names but she carries the mantle of intuitive intelligence. Sometimes she is Isis, spreading her wings of ascension. Sometimes she is Asherah, the original bread of life. Mary Magdalene is said to have been an incarnation of Sophia.
The symbol of Sophia is the dove, depicted as the bird descending from the heavens, known in Christianity as the Holy Spirit.
Isis is the Egyptian goddess of magic, fertility, and motherhood. She has gone by many names, such as the Queen of the Heavens, Star of the Sea, Light-Giver of Heaven, Lady of Green Crops, and She Who Knows How To Make Right Use Of The Heart.
She is the Great Mother of fertility, of creation, of life and death. Some see the Mary, the mother of Jesus, as an incarnation of Isis.
The exotic and mysterious Black Madonnas have their roots in the pre-Christian goddess traditions. In southern Provencal tradition, the Black Madonna is associated with St. Sara, the patron saint of the gypsies. Many believe the European shrines to the Black Virgin have special healing powers. These energetic places often have a sacred water source and a Celtic foundation. The Black Madonna is another form of the feminine principle.
 Simply put, her principles are ones of nurturing, of love, understanding, compassion, insight, intuition, creativity, forgiveness, healing, and wisdom.
Whatever your beliefs and choice of traditions are, whether She appears to you as Ishtar or Mari, Gaia or Quan Yin, as the great Mother Mary or Magdalene, or as one of the pantheon of goddesses from ancient Egypt or Greece or Rome, to Africa or the Middle East, to the cults of the Black Madonna, or whether she is spun from one of the archetypes of the indigenous tribes, such as Spider Woman, the divine feminine is still the primordial She who creates from a central source.
The Goddess is our primary life force on the planet. If we don’t utilize the love, nurturing, understanding, and kindness of the divine feminine within all of us, we will not survive. We need this essence to return balance to our world, our bodies, and our lives.
We need to remember her ways, these ways of the divine feminine, so we can expand our conscious awareness and focus on global issues in dispute. We need the Great Mother to lead us and teach us, so we can find new ways to resolve old issues and enter into peaceful co-existence with each other.
The life force of the divine feminine is the spark that will help us ignite a deeper spiritual, technological, and biological transformation. Her sustainability is our survival.

Monday, January 20, 2014

The Shame and Sadness of a Nation

Normally I write things about the magickal side of life.  Both light and dark.  I love magick it is what I was raised to appreciate and treat with great respect.  I am feeling very led though to write about something of a much more serious note.  The shame of a country and the sadness.  The suffering of innocent women who through no fault of there own were forced to basically live in servitude.  What were their crime, the sin that they committed so bad that they were forced to live out the remainder of their lives in slave labour hiding in the walls of a convent.  Some were to pretty, too smart, the boys showed to much interest, some mistakenly accidentally got pregnant and chose not to get married, others were a bit mouthy and ill behaved, and yet others were simply rape or molested.  This was occurring in Ireland right up until the last of these convents closed in 1996.  That is right I said 1996.

These Convents were referred to as the "laundries" by almost everyone.  Mention of the laundries would immediately illicit fear in any girl.  It was a very well known and never spoken about place.  I remember the one in Dublin.  Seeing the women come into mass behind the sisters.  Run by the Sisters of Our Lady of Charity, High Park Convent was the site of Ireland’s largest Magdalene Laundry. Until well into the twentieth century, girls deemed to be “difficult”  – because they were sexually active, or sexually abused, or simply poor – were sent to laundries by their families or the state. Despite having committed no crime, they were not allowed to leave the institutions and were forced to work for no pay, making them literally slaves. Many women spent their entire lives there, remaining long after the actual laundries closed down. They had nowhere else to go.
I used to see some of those women at Mass, although I was almost grown up before I realized who they were, and the extent of horror they were put through. They’d shuffle in behind the nuns and sit quietly at the back. Their eyes were vacant, and they seemed completely institutionalized.  I’m sure they weren’t as old as they looked. 
Then, in 1993, High Park hit the news. The nuns sold some of the grounds to a property developer for IR£1.5m, but the sold land included a mass grave containing the remains of 155 women, many of whom were unnamed. The scandal forced Ireland to confront just what had happened in those laundries, and ask why we’d tolerated them for so long. It didn’t stop shameless religious orders continuing to sell land for vast amounts of money – thanks to further land sales, High Park made €61.7m between 1999 and 2009, and today the former grounds are covered in houses and apartments. But while nuns made millions, former Magdalenes began a long campaign for justice.

So many women suffered and lost their lives.  And sadly the sisters in turn made millions of pounds from them selling off the land where the were buried in cold unmarked lonely graves.  
These were the Magdalen laundries where it is estimated that, since their inception, up to 30,000 women had been incarcerated.
 Initially the mission of the asylums was to rehabilitate women back into society, but by the early twentieth century the homes had become increasingly punitive and prison-like. In most asylums, the inmates were required to undertake hard physical labour, including laundry and needle work. They endured a daily regimen that included long periods of prayer and enforced silence. Ireland’s Magdalen asylums, or laundries, survived for the longest time. The last Magdalen asylum didn't close until 1996. There isn’t anything exclusively “Irish or Catholic” about these institutions; the “Irish variety took on a distinct character”. 
 Ireland’s Magdalen laundries were quietly supported by the state, operated by the church, and they were directly responsible for the enslavement of at least 30,000 innocent women and girls for more than two hundred years. Referred to as “fallen” women, some were sexually active “when Irish women were expected to be morally pure,” some were “unmarried mothers of ‘illegitimate’ children when the constitution rendered motherhood and marriage inseparable,” some were victims of physical and sexual abuse by men who under a double standard evaded culpability, and others were “deemed too simple…or too attractive and were hastily hidden away to safeguard their moral purity”. Though they were not criminals, they were systematically incarcerated in Magdalen laundries. In these laundries, women and girls were forced to labor without pay, and the cruelty with which they were treated methodically stripped away their sanity, agency, and identity; inhumane treatment, such as physical/emotional abuse and shaming techniques, was used to demean and dehumanize them.
 In the late 17th century, the term “fallen women” primarily referred to prostitutes; but by the end of the 18th century, Magdalen laundries were filled with many different kinds of women, including girls who were “not prostitutes at all,” but either “seduced women” or women who had yet to engage in sexual activity. According to Francis Finnegan, author of Do Penance or Perish: A Study of Magdalen Asylums in Ireland, “Missionaries were required to approach prostitutes and distribute religious tracts, designed to be read in ‘sober’ moments and divert women from their vicious lives”. Furthermore, “the consignment even of genuine prostitutes” to these laundries “seldom reduced their numbers on the streets, any more than did an individuals prostitute’s death,” because, according to Finnegan, “so long as poverty continued, and the demand for public women remained, such losses were easily replaced. Raftery wrote that the institutions were failing to achieve their supposed objective; “the institutions had little impact on prostitution over the period,” and yet they were continuing to multiply, expand and, most importantly, profit from the free labor. Since they were not paid, Raftery asserted, “it seems clear that these girls were used as a ready source of free labour for these laundry businesses”.
 The numbers of women whose basic human rights were violated by this system is unclear. Estimates indicate that over 30,000 women ended up in these institutions; we do not know how many women resided in the Magdalen institutions” after 1900. Vital information about the women’s circumstances, the number of women, and the consequences of their incarceration is unknown. We have no official history for the Magdalen asylum in the twentieth-century Ireland.
 Though Ireland’s last Magdalen asylum imprisoned women until 1996, there are no records to account for “almost a full century” of women who now “constitute the nation’s disappeared,” who were “excluded, silenced, or punished, and did not matter or matter enough o a society that “sought to negate and render invisible their challenges” to conceived notions of moral order.


 The Laundries are something I can never forget.  The fear, the loneliness, the isolation.  Women in our own country lived with a silent fear for so long.  We would be raped, molested, abused and not report it due to the fear of being send away and never be seen again.  So many girls ran away, I know I was one of them, when an unplanned pregnancy occurred.  Some to the north for quickie abortions others to get married and yet others to foreign unknown countries.  The stigma of being sexually active was always the fear of being sent away.
I have visited the sites.  The pain is so raw.  The women are crying to be remembered.  To be honored.  It breaks my heart 155 women in Dublin alone in unmarked graved whose bodies were exhumed, cremated, (by the way at the time that was considered a big no no in the church) and buried into mass graves. Who were they? Where do they come from?  Whenever I am in Dublin Or Waterford, I hear these women's cries.  I feel such a need to have them be remembered, NEVER FORGOTTEN.
FYI Sinead O'Connor spent time in a laundry as a teen and so many more who refuse to speak of it.



 The Magdalen Laundries By Joni Mitchell and The chieftains

 On 19 February 2013, Taoiseach Edna Kenny officially issued a full state apology to the women of the Magdalene Laundries.  He described the laundries as "the nation's shame" and "Therefore, I, as Taoiseach, on behalf of the State, the government and our citizens deeply regret and apologise unreservedly to all those women for the hurt that was done to them, and for any stigma they suffered, as a result of the time they spent in a Magdalene Laundry"



Saturday, January 4, 2014

Otherkin



Otherkin, they are perhaps one of the most misunderstood, and poorly treated souls in this dimension.  They are often deemed as crazy, weird, different, and odd.  Many spend most of their lives feeling detached and alone. I have slouly reconnected with my otherkin self.  For years I denied who I was trying to forget my magickal quirky artistic nature and blend in with society.  Sadly it left me searching, trying to figure out why I couldn't fit in and alone.  So violently alone that I would succumb to harming myself to try and feel a connection with the human world around me. 

So what are otherkin.  The best definition I have found for otherkin is this: a community of people who see themselves as partially or entirely non-human. They believe that they are, in spirit if not in body, not human. This is explained by some members of the otherkin community as possible through reincarnation, having a nonhuman soul, ancestry, or symbolic metaphor.

 Otherkin largely identify as mythical creatures, with others identifying as creatures from fantasy or popular culture. Examples include: angels, demons, dragons, robots or androids, elves, fairies, sprites, plants or algae, and aliens. Many otherkin believe in the existence of a multitude of parallel/alternative universes, which would explain the existence and the possibility to relate to fantastical beings and even fictional characters.

In essence otherkin are Non-human souls being born into human bodies/families. This can also get fringe meaning that those non-human souls have children, who while human, posses an ingrained level of magick/power similar in nature to that of a full otherkin. That's the hereditary side of things. Mostly seems to happen with fae and is generally referred to with terms like "Fae gifts" (the natural in-born magick of the fae, but not actually possessing a fae soul), or "bloodkin" (children/family of those who are otherkin that have either gifts themselves or have just learned the realities of it all because of the existence of otherkin in their lives)

This is the common belief to how this happens. There are multiple realms/dimensions/realities/whatever you want to call it. in which there are other races. Somehow-for unknown reasons-the souls of those races can cross to THIS realm/dimension/reality/whatever, and be born as humans. But, they are really not human. Most posses magickal gifts, talent, powers, needs, and memories that move WAY past that of "normal" humans. Most have a deep longing to go "home" but don't know what or where it is they are longing for. Often spending a lot of their lives trying to find that place. Most feel very out of touch or place with modern life, finding themselves different from a very early age and possibly even stating things as young children that adults pass off as "fantasy." Many otherkin grow up and grow out of these memories and magicks because they are EXPECTED TO. Sometimes, they will come to a point much later in life where they re-awaken that part of themselves. Most however, who fall "asleep" (meaning, they completely forget their true nature and bury their magick and memories somewhere they don't even know how to find them anymore) don't ever wake up.

At one point in time, I believe that the veils/barriers/mists/etc. between the worlds (realms/dimensions/whatever you want to call them) were illusionary and otherkin could walk along the earth without having to first assume human bodies. I believe that at one point, what we now consider "fairy tales" were really just otherkin in their natural form. But, as humanity grew, changed, learned science over belief, the barriers grew and the possibility faded. Now, you can't have a dragon be in this world in their true form for example, because no one could handle the existence of one.


 Common Traits/Talents
Very Energy and more often Nature Aware.
--Ability to "talk" to the wind, water, trees, etc.
--Ability to "hear" them reply
--A deeper, different, and more intense connection to the earth
--A deeper, different, and more intense connection to the magickal/astral/dream/etc.
--A strong connection with the stars, sun, moon, or celestial is common


Most otherkin DO tend to have higher then average IQ's

--Mostly believed to be an extension of using more of one's mind and potential.
--Strong abilities in one field, poor in others (generally more liberal and arts minded)
--A strong sense of knowledge and need to learn (probably on ones own time and in their own way though)


Being overly sensitive to the "normal" senses
--Hearing light, seeing smells. Sounds weird, but seems oddly universal.
--Loving or hating sunlight-finding it either charging or draining.
--Whines from electronics easily heard, perfumes easily smelled, etc.
--Strong loves and hates of food and flavors
--The ability to "get lost in" or "drown" in pleasing colors
--To be emotionally moved by a site of Beauty

Empathy and/or mild Telepathy.
--This can sometimes be a literal headache.
--May show up in childhood and be repressed for awhile or kept secret through school years.
--Just "knowing" when someone lies or tells the truth
--Getting a "feeling" about the nature of a person and their intentions
--Ability to convey a thought/emotion/need to another unspoken
--It seems like a natural extension of oneself.

Separation and Feeling Out of Touch
--Sometimes even a very "protective" feeling towards others?
--The counter of this is feeling very "dominant" towards others
--Feeling "one step behind" of the crowd
--Having a speeding or slowing of Time


I know some will read this and think I am off my rocker.  So be it.  I am no longer afraid to admit and embrace my otherkin soul.  I am a fairy always have been and always will be.  I have found through out my life when I suppress the belief in who I am I become despondent, depressed, and out of touch with everything and everyone around.  I become self abusive and allow myself to be placed in situations which are not good for my emotional and physical well being.  I know I am different and a bit eccentric and quirky, but that is me.  As I have aged I find the most comfort in others who are like me.  I find surrounding myself with others who are not human allows me to be me.  If you think this is absurd please keep moving on and go elsewhere.  This is a non judgemental and freeing space for all and if you are open to different beliefs than you are always welcome.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Creating and using Mars Water aka War water




Do you feel under psychic attack? Do you sense that something dark comes your way? Then Water of Mars will help you send these black shadows as far away from you as possible. Water of Mars (or alternatively known as War Water) is a mighty tool that every witch should keep in hand. Water of Mars was used in folklore to treat anemia.  The Water of Mars is a simple yet powerful recipe.

 Ingredients



* A jar

* Water

* Iron nails (if possible try to find cut iron nails)



On a Tuesday (the day of Mars) put the iron nails in the jar and fill the jar with water. Leave the nails inside the jar for at least 15 days in a cool place (preferably your refrigerator as you will prevent bacteria to be cultivated in the water).  For the first 7 days leave the jar unopened and then open periodically as air will speed up the oxidation process of the nails. The secret for this recipe is oxidation.



Strain the water from the jar and use as needed. You can keep adding water to the original jar with the iron nails indefinitely and you will have an infinite supply of Water of Mars.  In addition, you can summon the God Mars  to bless your water with his powers.



Use Water of Mars :



  • To banish evil and  remove negativity from your place – Sprinkle around your house
  • To protect you, your loved one and your property from future psychic and magical attacks
  • As additional aid in unbinding spells- Use it in your ritual to remove malevolent magic that has targeted you and your loved ones
  • To remove obstacles- When you feel that your road is blocked by unseen powers
  • For jinx removing- Add some drops in your bath along with a pinch of Black Salt and bathe



Black Salt can be added to Water of Mars for improved effects as the two ingredients will make a powerful duet against evil. However, I would like you to be aware that it is a very strong combination and if you use it in your property always use other protective ingredients with more mild effects afterwards. Burn lavender, myrrh and gardenia oils in an oil burner to seal your protective ritual and calm the atmosphere down after a fierce battle.