Grief and moving on

Most of those who know me, know me to be carefree, loving, laughing, and trustful (most times to a fault) They look at me as whimsical and living life with no boundaries.  However, though my soul may not be of this earth, my body is, and with that the rampant emotions of sadness, despair, and at times even depression.  I sometimes open my heart and soul to large, love to much, and trust like a child, forgetting the cruelty that can be part of the human race.  With that comes the grief.  Followed by the tears and sorrow.  Washington Irving said it best when he wrote "There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love." 
I have shared thousands of tears over the last several months, tears of joy for the birth of my son Tristan (aka. Drogo), tears over the loss of friends and loved ones, tears as I became one completely with my soul mate and best friend, tears from the trust I gave unto others that was shattered with no explanation, tears for my best friend (at least whom I thought was my best friend) when my calls were left unanswered and not having her at my side as I said my vows of love and devotion to my soul mate and we two became one, tears over the relationship that ended, and tears of grief for the goodbyes that I never got to speak to loved ones no longer here.  Tears are power, they bring cleansing and renewal, they allow us to have an outward expression of emotions we can not put to words.  Tears are not a sign of weakness they are the signs of an inner strength and resolve to never give up!
While I have been away I have worked on my grief and healing.  I have a wonderful team around me surrounding me with love and support.  One of the assignments they gave me is to look up quotes on grief, finding the ones that stood out to me.  A lot of them gave me strength to continue through when I would have rathered curled up and allowed myself to slowly wither and die.  I figured since I am back I would share them with you.
 “You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” ―Anne Lamott 
 “Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them." ~ Leo Tolstoy
 "The reality is that we don't forget, move on, and have closure, but rather we honor, we remember, and incorporate our deceased children and siblings into our lives in a new way. In fact, keeping memories of your loved one alive in your mind and heart is an important part of your healing journey." ~ Harriet Schiff, author of The Bereaved Parent
She was no longer wresting with the grief, but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts. - George Eliot
Those are just a few of the many I found that gave me strength to endure.  I hope the have inspired you some also.  So I am off much love and happiness to all of you and remember to sprinkle some fairy dust on your travels!!!!

I leave you with a song it is one that brings a smile to my face whenever I hear it hope it does to you also  

A great big thank you

to my followers thank you for understanding my need to have some time away.  I am back and ready to get blogging again.  I can not wait to share the wonderful things going on and some wonderful stories.  First I have to say we are expecting twin girls anytime now via the wonderful gift of surrogacy.  We have names them Daenerys Myrcella and Catelyn Margaery.  We chose the names out of love the The Song of Fire and Ice stories of George R.R. Martin and made famous in the HBO series Game of Thrones.  Well off for now spread some sunshine where ever you may travel!!!!